


Falling

by Inell



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Action/Adventure, Friendship, Post-Hogwarts, Romance, The Quidditch Pitch: Leaving Feast
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2006-09-06
Updated: 2006-09-06
Packaged: 2018-10-26 16:46:28
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,092
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10790634
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Inell/pseuds/Inell
Summary: It was a lot like walking a tightrope





	Falling

**Author's Note:**

> Note from Annie, the archivist: this story was originally archived at [The Quidditch Pitch](http://fanlore.org/wiki/The_Quidditch_Pitch), which went offline in 2015 when the hosting expired, at a time I was not able to renew it. I contacted Open Doors, hoping to preserve the archive using an old backup, and began importing these works as an Open Doors-approved project in April 2017. Open Doors e-mailed all authors about the move and posted announcements, but may not have reached everyone. If you are (or know) this creator, please contact us using the e-mail address on [The Quidditch Pitch collection profile](http://archiveofourown.org/collections/thequidditchpitch/profile).

  
Author's notes: [](http://community.livejournal.com/7spells/profile)[**7spells**](http://community.livejournal.com/7spells/) **Prompt #5:** So Shaken as We Are  


* * *

It was a lot like walking a tightrope.

If she swayed too far left or too far right, she'd fall off. Hermione possessed the delicate balance necessary to stay on the rope but it became more and more difficult the longer she found herself walking it. She didn't even want to think about the repercussions of falling, though, so she kept herself steady and maintained her balance.

She had been on this path for a little more than four months, walking steadily and never giving away anything to indicate she wanted more or wished things were different. One step too far in either way would alert Bill to the truth of her feelings so she had to be careful. Was this touch too lingering? Had he caught her looking at him? Did he look at her and know what she dreamed about? Was she too obvious? How could she keep being The Friend when she had fallen more in love as time went by and wanted only to be His?

All these questions in her mind sometimes proved so distracting that it took all of her focus to keep herself from giving anything away, to make sure Bill would never know and realize how she felt. It had been easier when she was younger. A crush was brief and usually fleeting, never lasting very long and usually gone before she'd given it much thought. Her feelings for Ron had been kept close to her heart from the time she first realized there was more to their bickering than simple animosity. He'd never figured it out until she'd let him know.

With Bill, she _couldn't_ let him know, though. She'd spent hours over the last few months making lists, both mental and on scraps of parchment when her mind wandered, listing the pros and cons of confessing that she no longer looked at him as just a good friend and had fallen in love. The fact that he was obviously still in love with his wife and the knowledge that he had never given her any indication at all that he considered her more than a friend were enough to override any amount of ‘pros' on the lists she made.

If there had been even a slight hint he could ever think of her as Lover instead of Friend, she might have taken a risk and done something to let him know how she felt. He hadn't, though, save for a few imagined times when she thought he'd looked at her a bit longer than appropriate or his touch had seemed to linger in a way that made her hopeful. Just her imagination, of course, as a closer look at him always confirmed that he was still just Bill and there were no secret longings, wasn't any lusty gaze, and certainly nothing that suggested he wanted more. So Hermione walked the tightrope and never said a word.

His friendship was far too important to her for her to do something that would potentially make it awkward, if not ruin it all together. She was old enough to appreciate the place he had in her life, even if it wasn't exactly what she yearned for him to be to her, and knew friendship was better than loneliness. That's why it bothered her when she felt him pulling back. It had been subtle, so subtle that she'd probably not even have realized it if she wasn't so very aware of everything in regard to Bill, but she _had_ noticed.

At first, she thought it had been due to her illness. Bill had stayed with her the entire time and then caught a much milder case of the virus himself. She'd only been recovered for a day before he'd come down with it and it had been her time to take care of him until he'd been better. His case had only lasted two days, due in part to their knowledge of the diagnosis and the potion she'd been too stubborn to go to the hospital to get immediately. When he'd been okay, he'd gone back to work and their routine had settled back into place.

There had been something wrong, though. Since it had coincided with the illness, she assumed that must be to blame somehow. It was silly, of course, as Bill had offered to take care of her so he couldn't be upset about that, and he just wasn't the type to blame her for his getting sick with the same virus so it couldn't be that, either. She'd eventually decided it wasn't anything to do with being sick, which just left her more confused as to why he had changed.

Bill was more guarded around her. It would sound stupid to explain it to anyone, but Hermione could feel the difference. It was so very subtle that she wasn't entirely sure she wasn't wrong yet she couldn't deny a shift in their relationship. Their routine hadn't changed. In many ways, he was still the same as he had been before she was sick. He had pulled back, though, and seemed wary in a way that puzzled her. There was a tension now that hadn't been there before, she recognized, and he didn't seem to really relax a majority of the time.

She'd given it three weeks. Perhaps he was preoccupied with work or it was another mood swing or she was wrong and nothing had really changed. There had been excuses in her mind every time she considered asking him what was wrong. Now, though, she knew it was time to find out what the problem was and just hope it wasn't her because she didn't want to lose him.

"What?" Bill interrupted her mental pep talk with his somewhat defensive question. Hermione pulled herself from her thoughts and looked at him curiously. He frowned and looked away at her arched brow and curious gaze. "You were staring."

"Sorry, I didn't realize. I was thinking," she explained as she wondered if she shouldn't just let it go instead of possibly embarrassing herself by talking about something that might just be in her mind.

"I should have known," he murmured with a ghost of a smile as he glanced at her briefly before he focused his attention back on his book.

"Have I done something wrong?" she asked softly.

His attention was instantly on her and he seemed surprised by her question. She was a little surprised, too, as she'd intended only to ask if he was okay. "No, of course not," he said quickly. He hesitated a moment and simply stared at her. "Why would you ask that, Hermione?"

"You've been acting weird," she admitted with a sigh. "I thought that I might have done something and that's why you were becoming distant."

"You haven't done anything," he told her firmly. "I wasn't aware that I'd become distant. I've just had a lot on my mind recently."

"I've been told I'm a good listener," she offered as she relaxed slightly. Bill wouldn't lie to her, of that she had no doubt, so it wasn't anything she'd unknowingly done that had caused his odd behavior.

"What do you mean weird?" he asked as he focused his intense ‘I'm trying to solve a puzzle and get answers' gaze on her.

Hermione wasn't exactly sure what to say. She finally shrugged. "I can't explain it. You've just been different the last few weeks and I was worried."

"Different how?" He was the most infuriatingly stubborn man she'd ever met, she decided as his eyes narrowed and he studied her.

"Damn it, Bill, I don't know," she snapped as she dragged her fingers through her hair. "Just forget I asked, okay? Do you have a preference for dinner? I thought we might get takeaway tonight because it was a long day at work and I don't particularly feel like cooking."

He closed his book and met her gaze. "I don't want to forget that you asked," he said softly. "I want to know _why_ you noticed something I hadn't even realized I'd been doing, Hermione. You see, I've suddenly got a theory. It's one that I never considered possible so I don't want to put much hope in it being true until I know for certain that it's valid."

"A theory?" She was curious despite herself. "You're being cryptic and odd, Bill," she pointed out, frowning as she tried to decipher his comment and decide what sort of theory he could possibly have about her observation.

"Stop trying to figure it out and just answer my question." His tone was almost amused but there was something else to it that had her unable to look away from him.

"You've been tense," she said quietly, trying to keep a neutral tone so he'd not figure out exactly why she'd noticed the subtle changes. "You've just been moodier than usual, I guess. I really don't know how to explain it well. The smiles and laughs are fewer and far between lately and you seem to be thinking a lot, in a distracted sort of way that doesn't include sharing the thoughts with me. We still talk but I feel like you're holding something back now and that bothers me."

"Hermione, why does it bother you?" He wouldn't let her look away. There was something in his gaze, another subtle change in the way he was looking at her, and she wasn't entirely sure she was just imagining the energy in the air around them that seemed to make her mouth dry and her pulse race.

"Don't," she whispered as she realized he must know. She'd slipped off the tightrope without even realizing it and could now feel herself falling through the air. She tried to prepare herself for the crash landing, hoping she'd not lose his friendship along the way.

"God, I've been so bloody stupid," he muttered softly as he shook his head and ran his hand over his face. "Not as smart as I thought I was, obviously. I never saw, didn't realize." He was talking to himself and didn't make a lot of sense.

"I don't understand," she confessed, frustration, worry, and curiosity evident in each word as she watched him.

"You don't?" Bill looked at her for a moment before he stood up and walked over to her. "Let me see if I can try to explain it better," he suggested as he sat down beside her and gave her that intense look again that had her unable to move and made her nearly forget to breathe.

Before she could tell him that was a good idea, his fingers lightly brushed against her chin and he raised her head as he lowered his. She forgot what she had planned to say when his lips met hers in a tentative kiss. His lips were dry and chapped and fit perfectly over hers. When he pulled back, he blinked down at her as if he was surprised to find her really there with wet lips and flushed cheeks. She had the sudden realization that he'd not planned to do that at all, a fact that pleased her and gave her hope when she'd honestly never expected to have any.

"I'm sorry, Hermione. I shouldn't have---" The whispered apology was caught by her lips as she took a chance and leaned up to kiss him. He groaned softly and then he was kissing her back, his fingers in her hair as he pulled her closer. She pressed against him, her tongue curled around his, and she gripped his soft hair as the kiss deepened.

They parted and simply looked at each other, shaking, breathing raggedly, faces flushed, and raw emotion evident in their faces as they finally let down the walls they'd so carefully built over the years. He touched her cheek and she gently traced his scars with her fingertip as they just _looked_ and finally _saw_ , silently communicating everything they weren't sure how to put into words. Their lips met again in a tender kiss that soon became passionate and desperate as they finally let go and admitted how they felt.

She'd lost sight of the tightrope by now, didn't think she'd ever see it again, but no longer minded slipping off of it. She was comforted with the knowledge that she wasn't falling alone, not anymore. She and Bill were falling together and it was unlike anything she had ever experienced before.

The End  



End file.
